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How are you?

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HOW many times a day or week or month are you asked ‘how are you?’, or, ‘are you okay?’ and how many times do you reply I’m fine, even when you’re not. Even when things are difficult you give a positive reply.
What would happen if you said how you really felt, if you were honest and open and began to express your worries and fears, problems and frustrations? Hopefully the person, who asked you the question, would stop what they were doing, and listen. Or perhaps they are too busy with their own problems, worries and concerns and might not have the time to listen to you.
Something else might happen too. When you give a positive reply when you are feeling down or troubled, you create additional turmoil inside, you know you don’t feel ‘fine’ you wish you did but it is simply not true. So your subconscious asks why you are being dishonest with yourself, and others.
Why are you saying things you know are not true? Then thoughts are triggered wishing things were ok, looking for solutions to problems, but none are found, so frustration and feelings of inevitability creep in, and lots more besides. The courtesy of the question, and the dishonesty of the reply simply brings us no benefit.
Instead, when you are having difficulties simply reply I’m coping! This brings honesty to your reply; it brings a balance inside, a more congruent reply, which is more helpful to you, and also tells the other person, that things are not the best for you.
It’s easier to reply this way, then at least if they do not stop and listen or take an interest you can take comfort in the fact that any internal conflict or frustration has not been added too, because you have answered honestly.

During difficult times in our life we need to be honest with ourselves, and others. This takes some learning, but it is worth doing.
So often we go through life storing our frustrations, worries, fears, anxieties, and self-limiting beliefs; and so much more, carrying our burdens takes lots of emotional energy from us.
These negatives sabotage our self-confidence, and limit our willingness to do something about getting rid of them. Sometimes it just needs a deep breath, and the taking ownership of the problems. And that is the key, if there are problems in your life, you need to own them, and once you do own them, to deal with them or to find someone to help you deal with them.
Of course you take responsibility for what you do, but very importantly too, you take responsibility for what you choose not to do! If you have problems and you are not doing anything about them, then don’t complain if life is more difficult that it should be. Don’t blame others for your own lack of responsibility, or for the way you feel, think or behave. It may feel uncomfortable to acknowledge you do this, but once you have acknowledged it, you can make changes, and live life more positively and happily.
You know where I am if you need help or guidance. And I always have time to listen and help!

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About Author

Experienced journalist for more than 40 years. Managing Director of magazine publishing group with three in-house titles and on-line daily newspaper for Warrington. Experienced writer, photographer, PR consultant and media expert having written for local, regional and national newspapers. Specialties: PR, media, social networking, photographer, networking, advertising, sales, media crisis management. Director Warrington Chamber of Commerce Patron Tim Parry Johnathan Ball Foundation for Peace. Trustee Warrington Disability Partnership. Former Chairman of Warrington Town FC.

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