A FORMER Lymm student has taken to social media to share his own mental health journey in a bid to help others.
In a short space of time Dan Gordon, aged 24, a former student at Lymm High School has attracted nearly 500 followers to his “Strength in Stories” Instagram page, where others are now also sharing their own stories.
Dan said: “I have recently set up the page Strength in Stories on Instagram. From my own experience with mental health (full story below), I know how valuable it is to see stories of people who have been through the same thing.
“During the most intense periods, I would always be searching the internet for stories of people who had been through similar experiences as me. There was one particular blog that I must have read over 50 times.
“The trouble was that these stories were always few and far between. I would have to trawl through blog after blog or hope to chance upon a random article to find one. Often, I would come across the opposite, as many websites are full of horror stories of bad mental health experiences.”
This is where this idea for Strength in Stories came from.
“My goal is that this page becomes a source of hope for other people who find themselves in the situation I was in. By no means do I want to make out that mental health difficulties are all sunshine and rainbows, but I do want to show that there are people like them living with mental health problems every day and these people are still able to lead content and successful lives.
“My aim is for as many as people as possible to see the page. I feel this is especially important in this current moment, where looking after our mental health is more important than ever. I hope people will take some comfort from these stories; in the same way I did when I first found that blog.”
If anyone wants to share their story or follow the page, then it can be found at @strength_in_stories on Instagram.
Below Dan shares his story.
Dan’s story:
“It was at the end of second-year uni that I first acknowledged that I was a bit off. I had two things I was really looking forward to in the summer and when I was doing them, I remember being aware that I was flat and just not feeling anything about it.
That year at uni hadn’t been the easiest. I went through a breakup, I wasn’t enjoying my course and I was rarely going out of the house, other than to go out and drink. I would always be thinking that everyone else was having a great time compared to me.At that point, I just put how I felt down to what was going on in my life. I never considered that it was anything more. My year abroad was coming up and I think I pinned a lot of hopes on it. I thought that would be the solution for all of my problems. It was a huge thing that I’d wanted to do for ages, but when it came around, I didn’t feel positive, I didn’t feel sad,I didn’t feel nerves, I just felt nothing. I tried to tell myself “this is amazing”, but inside, I was just empty. By Christmas, I was starting to think that okay, something might not be quite right here and that it might be more than just who I am as a person.
I was at home in England in February and knew I’d put it off long enough, so booked to see my GP. The doctor suggested that I could be depressed and advised that I attended some counselling. I thought okay, I’ll tell my parents and we’ll book some counselling for when I get back from Vienna in Easter.
On the first Saturday of our Easter holiday, I was watching the TV and having breakfast as normal when suddenly my brain started racing at a million miles an hour. I felt like my head was falling, falling and falling. I suddenly got intense, depressive, overwhelming thoughts of what’s the point in anything – it’s all pointless, a waste. My whole perspective had gone. Everything had changed in that moment. The day after, I had to tell my mum that something was wrong and that I felt different. I remember I broke down in tears as I told her. I was terrified. I just didn’t know what was going on. I was later informed by my counsellor that I had experienced a stress-induced mental breakdown.
After a few weeks where I didn’t improve, she suggested that I try some medication. From then, it was just a long, long slog. When you first start medication, you think you’re going to be fine straight away but antidepressants take a while to properly work. It is really up and down. Often they can make you feel worse for periods, which makes you feel like you’re just back at the start. Those few months was the toughest period of my life. Depression is like a heavyweight. When it comes on strongly, you feel like you can’t move. Everything becomes a massive challenge. At points, you just want to melt into the bed and to disappear. It requires such strength of will. You have to be strong because there are points when you want more than anything for it all just to stop.
Thankfully though, I battled through it and after a couple of months had passed, the medication I was on started to level me out. I stuck with the medication and tried to incorporate some lifestyle changes. I was still very flat but it at least stopped me having the deep plunges and the intense spiraling of my mood.
Once I was back in England permanently, I went to see a psychiatrist who recommended I change my medication as I could still improve. I was now in my final year of uni. Having the breakdown was almost like my mind telling me that I need to change some stuff here, because I wasn’t looking after myself. I started to change a few things; go to the library to work, get more of a routine, drink less. It took a while, but I slowly started to get some positive emotion back. It was very small at the start, but I remember I started waking up and actually feeling excited for things. It was such a nice feeling. At the end of my final year, I managed to secure a 2.1. Getting this felt like a huge achievement and was such a relief. I had also managed to get an internship in Birmingham which started in the summer. Moving in on my own and starting my job, I suddenly felt like I had found something I loved. I started finding things that I actually had a passion for, and I loved the routine of work and feeling productive every day. I’m still in that job to this day.
I can definitely say now that I enjoy life more than I ever did at uni. If you’d said that to me a couple of years ago, I would never have believed you. I’ve learnt so much and I know myself so much better now. I know what I need to best look after my own mental health and I am in a much better place for it. I’m by no means perfect, I still take medication to this day and still do CBT, but overall, if I look back on where I was, the difference is huge. I’m genuinely positive about the future and look forward with optimism. I think that in itself is the biggest sign of how far I’ve come.”
