Expectations of a Modern Man: How to Be a Gentleman in the 21st Century


If you feel lost and misguided as a man of the 21st century, you should know that you’re not the only one.

As a matter of fact, men are seriously struggling to find their path and their role in contemporary society. In the world where having an undefined gender is an option, it’s no wonder that you have troubles with defining yours.

Considering the fact that civilization evolved past the traditional figure of an emotionless, workaholic man, whose most important job is to provide for his family, you need to do some soul-searching in order to find out how to become a valuable member of society.

Invest in Your Education

For you to feel like you’re making an actual contribution to the world around you, it’s first important to make sure that you are a capable man.

Your confidence in your capabilities will come from knowledge, which is why you need to work on your education. However, you don’t have go with a traditional path, and spend years on a college campus. Many accomplished professionals nowadays are self-thought, so if you have troubles with conventional education, you can make your own path.

Bear in mind that good manners are a strong mark of a genuine gentleman. In all the fuss, etiquette is practically a lost art, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be brought back to life. Besides, proper behavior is a herald of a good educational background, so they go hand in hand.

Be Well-Groomed

Style plays an important role in in today’s society. A well-groomed man radiates confidence and elegance, which is why you need to develop your own fashion signature. However, this comes as a challenge to a significant percentage of men.

For example, beards are big right now, but they are nothing new – this isn’t a passing caprice of youth, it’s an old trend that has made a comeback. But, as you might have seen, some men can’t pull off that effortlessly rugged look. Luckily, it’s much simpler than it seems – the secret lies in beard oil. (If this is the first time you hear about beard oil, well, maybe it’s time to check out this guide for how to use beard oil and why.)

Like with anything else, proper grooming requires skill and experience, but it also depends on the contents on your bathroom cabinet. In this case, a bottle of quality beard oil is a very easy, yet incredibly efficient way to tame your facial hair, give your beard a polished appearance, and be satisfied with how you look.

Something as simple as beard oil can help you get that luscious beard you’ve always wanted. For that reason, you should inform yourself not only about the trends that are taking over the world, but also on how to work for your desired appearance.

Master Your Emotions

Unlike the silent, strong provider who doesn’t share emotions, which was the face of the men in the previous century, now you need to develop your sensitive side as well.

In order to cope with emotions, you need proper tools. The solution isn’t much more complicated than beard oil really, you just need to learn how to do it. What matters most in the beginning is understanding that you shouldn’t hesitate to express your emotions. Social norms, like the notorious “boys don’t cry“, need to stay in the past.

Emotions are as much a part of you as anything else and you need to communicate them properly if you want the people around you to truly understand you.

Learning about emotional tools is an essential part of nurturing your mental health. They will enable you to become self-aware, stay motivated, and develop your own vision of the future. You should begin with something simple, like starting your sentences with “I feel like”. It’s a solid base that will help you share your feelings and gain control over your emotions.

Have Goals

So that you develop a sense of purpose, and pave your path, you need to have goals.

A significant number of insecurities come from the fact that your future is hazy and undefined. Sure you need to leave some room for spontaneity, but you need to know what you want in life in order to gain a sense of direction.

This is where you should neglect the conventional expectations. A process like this requires some serious introspection. Therefore, don’t be afraid to dig deep in order to learn about yourself, your needs, and your aspirations.


If you develop a skill set, become well-mannered, learn about a few useful secrets on how to take care of yourself, master your emotions, and set goals for yourself, you’ll gain the confidence of a real gentleman; heck, you can even succeed in life while downing a few drinks here and there like these famous heaviest drinkers in history. But don’t expect for this to happen overnight – give it some time and real effort, and you’ll be able to see yourself mature.


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  1. stubble + 'stache on

    Great article! Beard oils are wonderful, but it is important to care for the rest of your face too. A daily beard-friendly facial moisturizer is a great addition to any man’s grooming routine.


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