Trust is an emotive word

“TRUST” is an emotive word, which can have positive or negative influences on people and their relationships on many levels.
People often question whether they can place 100% trust in someone they enter into a relationship with. It takes time to develop trust, along with other aspects of building a relationship, but this can be hampered by our previous experiences and our belief system. This can also result in us having unrealistic expectations of others, resulting in the belief that we can never trust others. However, that also results in the belief in ourselves, and whether we can actually trust in our own judgments and actions.
As well as being an emotive word, the meaning therefore holds power in relationships with others and with one-self. Self criticism and criticism of others is usually due to expectations of trust being broken. The emotions it stirs up range through different stages of anger and sadness, often resulting in deep feelings of grief and despair, sometimes resulting in hopelessness or helplessness, as it starts to trigger other experiences of feeling let down, used or betrayed, which can affect us mentally and physically.
It is usually earlier childhood experiences within family or peer relationships, or attitudes and beliefs we have taken on board from significant adults and the environment we are brought up in, which influences our thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
Children place total trust in the adults around them, as they are fully reliant on their parents or carers to provide all material and emotional needs i.e. food, warmth, shelter, safety, security and love. As children grow they also require guidance and learning by experience and example. As they start to develop their cognitive function they also start to learn to read and write and problem solve, activating the analytical part of the brain. As reasoning develops they can then start to make sense of their environment. However, as they totally trust and believe in everything they have experienced, heard and seen up until primary school age, they then start having conflicts as they compare and contrast with other people’s experiences.
For example, if a child has been brought up around domestic violence, where one parent is volatile and then repentant, and the other parent is always forgiving in order to stay safe, but wants to leave, then the child may have difficulty in feeling safe and secure, and as they try to make sense of this experience, they could then develop thoughts and feelings about trusting others. This can then lead them into dysfunctional relationships with others, where either they do not trust a partner, or they cannot behave in a way that develops trusting relationships with others, and their feelings of trust in themselves.
This is just one example, and as people have different beliefs, attitudes and expectations on so many levels in relation to “Trust”, it is an issue that often appears when people engage in Hypnotherapy or Counselling. If this is a problem you have struggled with throughout your life, please contact us to discuss how we can help you. Please contact me or my associate, Cate on: 01925 658322 to arrange an Initial Consultation. Finally, We wish all readers a very happy Christmas, and a healthy and prosperous New Year.