Renewal – signs of new life

AS the winter months roll on, if we are observant, we will start to notice the signs of new life emerging in the undergrowth and on the trees.
There may be snow and frosts but underneath that, life is ready to burst forth. No matter how difficult the winter months may seem, there is hope of spring and all it brings is right around the corner.
People find being optimistic more and more difficult with the stresses and strains of life, and they look for quick fixes to help them cope with life. However, this only serves as a sticking plaster on a small wound, when the bigger wounds and hurts are deep within, causing emotions to be blocked.
Expressing emotion is fearful for most people, however, what we fear is usually a lot more painful than actually expressing it, if it is released under ‘safe conditions’, i.e. with a supportive and understanding person. This is still difficult to achieve for many people, as they may feel they cannot trust people enough to even allow themselves to start the process of letting go of any emotion with another person, or they may worry about what someone else thinks of them. If they were to get angry or upset in front of another person, they imagine the other person may think they are ‘going mad’ or ‘losing the plot’.
As human beings we naturally feel emotion, a whole range of different emotions, and this is normal. However, it is how our expression of emotion has been viewed by our parents and other caregivers as children, and how we have observed the adults around us managing their behaviour and emotions, that has influenced the way we cope with life.
It is important to encourage children to express themselves, with safe boundaries in place. Encouraging self respect and respect for others, doesn’t mean they cannot express their feelings openly. The great thing is that adults can learn to do this too, if they have a safe, supportive partner or friend, or they learn to do this on their own within a safe environment.
As therapists, we encourage people of all ages to express themselves openly with safe boundaries in place. By offering time, comfortable surroundings, and being accepting of the person, and the thoughts, feelings and behaviours they present with, allows them to gradually release repressed and inappropriate feelings they often hold deep inside.
Releasing the pain and hurt, then leaves space for hope, happiness and joy. Within this process it is also important to encourage the person to be more optimistic and positive about themselves and to learn new coping skills.
Anger, is the scariest of emotions, but offers the most powerful healing, if it is expressed in the right way. However, most people have learned to either repress it or be aggressive towards others. We often hear about being assertive, but generally this is difficult to maintain. Thinking about being respective to oneself and others, is the best way to look at expressing anger, and other emotions appropriately.
To learn how to express your emotions more freely and safely, you can either attend one of our workshops, or make an appointment for a 1-1 consultation. Please contact either myself or Cate Todd on 01925 658322 or visit our website www.thecch.com.