Grieving dad’s tragic journey

GRIEVING dad Adrian Derbyshire is preparing to embark on the most difficult journey of his life following the tragic death of his teenage daughter.

Julia Derbyshire was just 16 when Adrian found her body at the family home in Warrington.

He desperately battled to save her life with CPR, trying to start her heart again until the emergency services arrived. But after five days in hospital on a life support machine, Adrian had to make the heart-breaking decision for it to be switched off.

“The lack of oxygen to her brain meant she would have had no meaningful life,” said Adrian, who suffers from an inoperable brain tumour and relies on a wheelchair to get about.

The irony of the situation was that Adrian, who battled on with his disability to become a medal winning Great Britain swordsman, has dedicated his life to speaking to more than 58,000 children and young people in schools and over 100,000 in communities around the UK as an anti-hate, stigma and anti-bullying campaigner, with Julia joining him on many occasions, helping spread the message to help save young lives.

Adrian was aware his daughter had suffered years of abuse during her formative years in America and was eventually successful in bringing her “back home to Warrington” where she had appeared to have settled during the past 18 months.

But unknown to Adrian, Julia had a secret life – with hidden phones and a false identity as a member of website groups which promoted teenage self-harming and suicide and glorifying a “beautiful death.”
This secret life only became apparent when he looked through her things following her death.
Through the Internet via phones and computers she had access to graphic and disturbing pro self-harm and pro-anorexia websites and materials.

Adrian said: “If as a trained counsellor and ambassador for anti-stigma, bullying and hate crime I was unaware of what was going on, what chance have other parents got?

“Even though I tried to prohibit unsuitable use of the internet she was able to access these through other sources such as friends.

“She was able to talk with and ‘meet’ strangers online who encouraged her to self-harm without thinking of the consequences. I also discovered Keyboard Warriors’ and ‘Trolls’ who criticised her online.

“Through social media she was able to create an online persona who she created to be a ‘bad’ girl but then felt the pressure of living up to that in reality.

“She didn’t talk to anyone or utilise the services she had available to her so no one was able to help her.

“I am now left wondering if I could have done more to help as a father and through mental health services and school etc. She was clearly deeply troubled due to an abusive and neglectful past. I keep asking the question was she let down?”

Now, despite, questioning his own mortality, Adrian has made the difficult decision to continue on his anti-hate and anti-bullying campaign and will include his daughter’s name in a new campaign attached to his own charity which he was in the process of setting up.

“I can certainly tell any young person out there, there is nothing beautiful about self-harming and taking your own life,” added Adrian.

“I now plan to keep Julia’s name alive raising awareness about the problems of teen self-harming and suicides and providing support for families who have gone through something like this, as from my own experiences there is certainly a lack of a support network due to the pressures teens face online.

For more information about Adrian’s work visit www.adrianderbyshire.co.uk